Headlines only…

“A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a
burning motor home driven by a one-time roller skating stripper from Lodi.”

Sounds like an extraordinarily interesting episode of Cops!!

And this one…

“When police entered the office of Nitschmann Middle School Principal John Acerra to arrest him for allegedly selling crystal methamphetamine, they found the 50-year-old educator naked and watching gay pornography with sex toys nearby, sources say.” 

NICE. There’s not one part of that statement that doesn’t scream “WRONG!”